Saying Goodbye to Toxic People

We all have someone in our lives that irks us now and again. Maybe someone who doesn't understand us, or seems driven to constantly disagree with us. I think that is a natural part of being human. We seem to always hurt those we love the most. But when does that relationship cross a line? When is it time to say goodbye to a toxic relationship that has gone on too long?

I had to ask myself these hard questions about some of my friends and family. Some autoimmune diseases and other illnesses are triggered by chronic stress. I know before I became ill I was very stressed. I won't go into the details in this post, but I had been stressed for years. I felt bad about myself, couldn't let go of things, didn't like the person I had become, didn't feel well, and on top of it all, had some family member who were constantly trying to tear me down.

I'm not perfect, no one is. But we have to accept that. Some members of my extended family on my mother's side have very different views than I do about religion, acceptance of others, and just what it means to be human. I never really liked the idea of Facebook, but I joined after my son was born so share pictures with friends and family who lived out of town. That was a huge mistake. It was the avenue by which my family began to slowly torture me. They always pointed out how I wasn't good enough, how I didn't believe what they did so I'd most certainly burn in Hell, how everyone I knew or liked would burn in Hell, and they were more than happy to point out all of my past mistakes.

I was ill after my son was born. I had a difficult pregnancy and birth, lost a lot of blood and needed transfusions, and then just never did feel like myself again afterwards and suffered from dizzy spells, among other things. I never saw my family or heard from them. Never a peep during my difficult times. They were only there to punish me for...for not being exactly like they are.

I began to realize that after I spoke with them on Facebook, I would be severely ill days afterwards. I was taking what they said to heart, even though I tried not to. I am the kind of person who wants love and approval from my family, and it was hurting me deep inside to be treated that way by the people I loved while growing up. I was so desperate to have their approval that I almost let them ruin my life. They did not approve of who I wanted to marry, I got nasty letters telling my why they didn't like him. Thankfully, after many break-ups and issues because of my family, I finally did what I wanted and married him. He is the love of my life and I would have regretted it forever if I had let them ruin my life.

When I had my thyroid go crazy on me, once again I heard nothing from my family. My mother came over every day and helped me and my son. My husband and son helped around the house, made meals, and tried their best to keep my comfortable. I cried on my father's shoulder, and I thank God every day that I have my parents, my husband, and my son. My father's side of the family live far away, but even they called him a lot and checked in on me. I was so grateful that they were thinking about me.

The only time my mother talked to her brother, all he could say is that she was being silly for worrying about me. That was pretty much it. I saw then that they have no love or affection for me, and I am tired of trying to earn theirs. For my own health, I cut them off. I do not consider them part of my family anymore. I have blocked all their emails, and will not be friends with them on Facebook or any other social media. I will not take their calls. I wish them the best, but they were adding to my illness. It was not an easy decision, but I had to do it. I do not know if I could ever really trust them again. It has been years of this kind of thing, and they do it to my mother as well.

In the end, I know this was the right thing to do. I have to take care of myself and my health so I can be here for my family. That means making tough decisions. I eat clean, I try to get plenty of rest, I try to exercise gently every day, and I cut toxins out of my life, and if that means cutting myself off from toxic people so I can be healthy, so be it.

Gluten Free Irish Soda Bread

We are getting close to St.Patrick's Day, so I thought it might be time to share my Gluten Free Irish Soda Bread recipe. I've been working on this for a while now, and here's what I have finally come up with.

My quest for gluten free bread has been a long one. Some gluten free breads are just not good, others you can buy in the store taste good, but they have many ingredients, including eggs and usually canola oil and corn products, things I am avoiding. Also, the more processed the food, the less good for you it usually is. This is a pretty simple recipe. Feel free to play with it as you like.

Gluten Free Irish Soda Bread:

Ingredients:

1 Cup rice flour

1/2 cup tapioca starch

1/2 cup coconut flour

1 tsp salt

3/4 tsp baking soda

1 TBSP baking powder

3 TBSP coconut oil (melted)

1 1/2 cups water

2 tsp apple cider vinegar

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Combine the dry ingredients in one bowl, the wet ingredients in another. Once they are mixed separately, add the wet to the dry and stir. The dough should be wet feeling, but you should be able to shape it. I usually put it on a greased round pan and shape into a circle, about and inch or so thick. Bake for 5 minutes at 450, then reduce heat to 350 and cook for another 25 minutes. Let cook for 10 minutes, cut, enjoy. I usually cut it with a pizza cutter into 8 triangular pieces. So far this is our favorite bread. I hope you enjoy it too.